Self Sublimation

Gangguan Kejiwaan

2010-01-31T07:37:00.000-08:00

Dewasa ini sering kita baca berita tentang meningkatnya gangguan kejiwaan , khususnya di kota-kota besar, seiring meningkatnya kebutuhan hidup, beban hidup serta tuntutan hidup baik dalam dunia kerja ataupun di lingkungan masyarakat. Sebenarnya apakah gangguna kejiwaan tersebut?

Untuk memahami masalah tersebut, kita perlu memahami apa itu definisi kesehatan jiwa. Menurut situs www.dinkes-dki.go.id, kesehatan jiwa adalah perasaan sehat dan bahagia serta mampu mengatasi tantangan hidup, dapat menerima orang lain sebagaimana adanya serta mempunyai sikap positif terhadap diri sendiri dan orang lain.
Berdasarkan definisi tersebut diatas, apakah kondisi kejiwaan kita tergolong tidak sehat? sebab salah satu definisinya adalah mempunyai sikap positif terhadap diri sendiri maupun orang lain, sedangkan secara manusiawi, terkadang, bahkan seringkali kita mempunyai perasaan negatif terhadap orang di sekitar kita, merasa rendah diri ataupun iri dan lain sebagainya.Disinilah kita dituntut untuk memiliki kualitas kecerdasan emosi supaya mampu mengendalikan diri terhadap emosi, pola pikir dan juga perasaan-perasaan kita.
Gangguan jiwa bisa diartikan juga sebagai suatu kondisi atau situasi kejiwaan yang negatif yang menyebabkan perilaku, pikiran, dan perasaannya tidak sesuai dengan norma-norma yang ada dilingkungannya.

Berikut ini ada beberapa hal yang bisa menyebabkan gangguan peada kejiwaan :

Stres
Menurut Sutardjo A Wiramihardja, kondisi kejiwaan itu bisa saja berupa situasi stres. Stres itu sendiri sangat bervariasi. Yang menimbulkan gangguan disebut distress, sedangkan yang menggembirakan disebut eustress, dan yang tidak menimbulkan apa-apa atau netral disebut neustress. Ada banyak sumber yang bisa menyebabkan stres misalnya perasaan frustrasi, adanya konflik, tekanan dari lingkungan kerja atau masyarakat, ketidaksiapan dalam menerima perubahan dan lain-lain.

Frustrasi
Arti kata frustasi menurut wikipedia berasal dari bahasa latin yaitu frustratio artinya perasaan kecewa atau jengkel akibat terhalang dalam pencapaian tujuan, semakin tinggi tujuan yang ingin dicapai, semakin tinggi pula tingkat frustrasi yang mungkin akan dialaminya seandainya keinginan tersebut tidak tercapai.

Konflik
berasal dari kata kerja latin configure yang berarti saling memukul. Secara sosiologis, konflik diartikan sebagai suatu proses sosial antara dua orang atau kelompok atau lebih dimana salah satu pihak berusaha menyingkirkan pihak lain dengan menghancurkannya atau membuatnya tidak berdaya karena adanya kesamaan kepentingan yang membuat saling bersaing ataupun adanya perbedaan pendapat yang menyebabkan adanya persaingan antara dua pihak.
Pressure atau Tekanan disini adalah ketika seseorang merasa terpaksa melakukan sesuatu yang tidak ingin ia lakukan ataupun keharusan melakukan sesuatu sesuai target yang telah ditentukan.Situasi seperti ini dapat menyebabkan seseorang mengalami depresi ataupun gangguan kejiwaan, yang tingkat gangguannya tergantung dari kekuatan orang tersebut dalam menghadapi tekanan.

Perubahan
Adalah suatu pergantian situasi atau kondisi yang mana Saat seseorang tidak mampu menghadapi adanya perubahan yang terjadi, maka jiwanya akan tertekan dan akan mengakibatkan gangguan pada kejiwaannya.

Sutardjo A Wiramiharja juga meningatkan bahwa stres ringan tidak akan menimbulkan masalah dan pengaruh bahkan dapat meningkatkan kualitas individu seseorang. Yang bisa mengakibatkan gangguan kejiwaan adalah stres yang berlebihan. Kemampuan masing-masing individu dalam menghadapi stres berlainan antara satu dengan yang lain, tergantung stress tolerance atau kemampuan dalam menghadapi stres dari masing-masing individu tersebut. semakin besar kemampuan dalam menghadapi stres, akan semakin kecil resiko terkena gangguan pada kejiwaan.

Dengan melatih dan meningkatkan kecerdasan emosi, diharapkan kita mampu mencegah, menghindari atau meminimalisir jenis-jenis gangguan kejiwaan tersebut sehingga mampu mendapatkan kualitas kehidupan yang lebih baik lagi.

Motivasi Diri Untuk Mencapai Tujuan

2009-11-21T12:23:00.000-08:00

Pada dasarnya setiap manusia mempunyai keinginan untuk mengembangkan diri, mencapai tujuan dalam hidupnya serta keinginan-keinginan yang lainnya, baik dalam hal karier, study serta kehidupan sosial lainnya.

Permasalahannya yaitu seringkali dalam perjalanan untuk meraih keinginan tersebut, kita menjadi merasa malas ataupun kurang termotivasi untuk meneruskan langkah dengan berbagai macam alasan ataupun permasalahan.
Berikut ini ada beberapa tips yang mungkin berguna buat kita untuk membangkitkan kembali motivasi dalam diri kita.

1. Timbulkan Keinginan
Salah satu modal awal untuk memotivasi diri adalah menciptakan keinginan, sebab, tanpa adanya suatu keinginan, tentunya kita tidak akan melakukan apapun karena tidak ada suatu tujuan dalam hidup kita.

2. Ciptakan Harapan
Setelah keinginan kita timbul, tentunya akan disertai dengan harapan bukan? Salah satu faktor yang membuat kita tetap bergerak maju adalah harapan-harapan kita untuk mendapatkan hal yang lebih baik dalam kehidupan kita. Hidup tidak akan berarti lagi jika kita sudah tidak mempunyai harapan lagi untuk masa depan kita.

3. Tingkatkan Wawasan
Apakah dengan memiliki sebuah harapan saja sudah cukup? Jawabannya adalah "Tidak Cukup". Bagaimana kita bisa merealisasikan apa yang kita harapkan jika wawasan kita terbatas, kita bagaikan berjalan dalam rimba tanpa tahu arah tujuan.Perluas wawasan kita dengan membaca, memperluas pergaulan, mengikuti perkembangan kemajuan dan sebagainya.

4. Timbulkan Ketertarikan
Jika kita merasa tertarik dengan sesuatu, maka kita akan terpacu untuk mendapatkannya. Jika rasa tertarik itu tidak ada, maka kita akan merasa terpaksa untuk melakukan suatu pekerjaan, dan hasilnya tentu tidak akan maksimal.

5. Fokus Pada tujuan
Dengan memfokuskan pikiran kita pada tujuan yang ingin kita tempuh, tentunya akan membantu dalam meningkatkan kinerja kita dalam meraih hasil yang lebih maksimal. Banyak orang melakukan suatu hal tanpa terfokus pada sesuatu yang dia kerjakan, selain pekerjaannya lebih lambat, mereka juga tidak akan memperoleh hasil sesuai yang mereka harapkan.

6. Yakin Pada Diri Sendiri
Bukan berarti kita takabur ataupun sombong, yakin dalam hal ini adalah disertai dengan kemampuan yang telah kita latih, tujuam yang telah kita tetapkan, wawasan kita yang selalu bertambah, sehingga kepercayaan diri kita makin meningkat, dan kita tidak mudah menyerah oleh keadaan yang paling buruk sekalipun.

7. Lakukan
Terakhir, segera lakukan langkah awal untuk meraih tujuan hidup Anda. Jangan pernah merasa ragu untuk memulai. sekali kita melangkah, jalan untuk meraih keinginan akan semakin terbuka lebar.Dan Yang pasti, jangan terburu-buru untuk segera mendapatkan hasil yang besar.

Tips-tips diatas tersebut merupakan sebagian kecil dari banyak cara untuk meraih tujuan dengan jalan memotivasi diri, jadi kita harus selalu menggali segala informasi dan selalu berusaha meningkatkan wawasan kita, supaya kita selalu termotivasi dalam setiap apa yang kita lakukan dalam kehidupan kita.

Teori Kepemimpinan (2)

2009-11-05T07:03:00.000-08:00

Teori perilaku dan gaya

Sebagai tanggapan atas kritik terhadap pendekatan sifat, para pembuat teori mulai meneliti kepemimpinan sebagai suatu perilaku, mengevaluasi perilaku para pemimpin yang berhasil , menentukan penggolongan / taksonomi perilaku dan mengidentifikasi gaya kepemimpinan luas.

David McClelland, misalnya, melihat keterampilan kepemimpinan, tidak begitu banyak sebagai suatu sifat, tetapi sebagai pola motif. Dia menyatakan bahwa para pemimpin yang sukses akan cenderung memiliki kebutuhan tinggi akan kekuasaan, kebutuhan rendah terhadap afiliasi, dan tingkat tinggi apa yang disebut aktivitas inhibisi (orang mungkin menyebutnya pengendalian diri).

Kurt Lewin, Ronald Lipitt, dan Ralph White telah mengembangkan pada tahun 1939, karya tentang pengaruh gaya kepemimpinan dan kinerja. Para peneliti mengevaluasi kinerja kelompok anak-anak berusia sebelas tahun di bawah jenis pekerjaan yang berbeda iklim. Dalam masing-masing kelompok, pemimpin menjalankan pengaruhnya mengenai jenis pengambilan keputusan, pujian dan kritik (masukan), dan manajemen kelompok tugas (manajemen proyek) berdasarkan tiga gaya:
(1) otoriter
(2) demokratis
(3) laissez-faire.

Iklim Otoriter yang ditandai oleh pemimpin yang membuat keputusan sendiri, permintaan yang ketat atas kepatuhan kepada perintah, dan mendikte setiap langkah yang diambil; Untuk langkah-langkah di masa depan tidak bisa dipastikan atas hasil yang besar. Pemimpin tidak harus bermusuhan tetapi menjauhkan diri dari partisipasi dalam pekerjaan dan umumnya menawarkan pujian dan kritik pribadi untuk kerja yang dilakukan.
Iklim demokratis yang dicirikan oleh proses-proses keputusan kolektif, dibantu oleh pemimpin. Sebelum menyelesaikan tugas, perspektif diperoleh dari diskusi kelompok dan saran teknis dari seorang pemimpin. Anggota diberikan secara kolektif memutuskan pilihan dan pembagian kerja. Pujian dan kritik dalam lingkungan seperti objektif, berpikiran mengenai fakta dan diberikan oleh seorang anggota kelompok tanpa harus memiliki partisipasi yang luas dalam pekerjaan yang sebenarnya.
Laissez faire iklim yang memberikan kebebasan kepada kelompok untuk penentuan kebijakan tanpa partisipasi dari pemimpin. Pemimpin tidak terlibat dalam keputusan kecuali ditanya, tidak berpartisipasi dalam pembagian kerja, dan sangat jarang memberikan pujian.
Hasil yang ada nampaknya untuk mengkonfirmasi bahwa iklim demokrasi itu lebih disukai.

Teori Kepemimpinan (1)

2009-11-05T06:21:00.000-08:00

Kepemimpinan digambarkan sebagai "suatu proses pengaruh sosial di mana satu orang dapat meminta bantuan dan dukungan orang lain dalam pemenuhan tugas yang sama". Sebuah definisi yang lebih inklusif tentang pengikut berasal dari Alan Keith, dari Genentech yang berkata " Kepemimpinan pada akhirnya adalah tentang menciptakan cara bagi orang untuk berkontribusi untuk membuat sesuatu yang luar biasa terjadi. " Menurut Ken Ogbonnia (2007),"

kepemimpinan yang efektif adalah kemampuan untuk berhasil mengintegrasikan dan memaksimalkan sumber daya yang tersedia di dalam lingkungan internal dan eksternal untuk pencapaian tujuan organisasi atau masyarakat. " Ogbonnia mendefinisikan seorang pemimpin yang efektif "sebagai individu dengan kemampuan untuk secara konsisten berhasil dalam kondisi tertentu dan diakui memenuhi harapan dari sebuah organisasi atau masyarakat."

Kepemimpinan adalah salah satu aspek yang paling relevan dalam konteks organisasi. Menurut Ann Marie E. McSwain, Asisten Profesor di Lincoln University, "kepemimpinan adalah kapasitas kemampuan para pemimpin untuk mendengarkan dan mengamati, untuk menggunakan keahlian mereka sebagai titik awal untuk mendorong dialog antara semua tingkat pengambilan keputusan, untuk mendirikan transparansi dalam proses dan pengambilan keputusan, untuk mengartikulasikan nilai-nilai mereka sendiri dan visi jelas, tetapi tidak memaksakan mereka. Kepemimpinan adalah tentang pengaturan dan tidak hanya bereaksi terhadap agenda, mengidentifikasi masalah, dan memulai perubahan yang membuat untuk perbaikan substantif daripada mengelola perubahan. "

Bagian berikut membahas beberapa aspek penting kepemimpinan termasuk deskripsi tentang apa kepemimpinan dan gambaran mengenai berbagai teori populer dan gaya kepemimpinan. Artikel ini juga membahas topik-topik seperti peran emosi dan visi, serta efektivitas dan kinerja kepemimpinan, kepemimpinan dalam konteks yang berbeda, bagaimana mungkin berbeda dari konsep-konsep yang terkait (yaitu, manajemen), dan beberapa kritik kepemimpinan secara umum dipahami.
contoh kepemimpinan

* Manager (perusahaan atau bisnis yang berbeda)
* Chef (restoran)

Teori Tentang Sifat

Teori tentang sifat mencoba untuk menjelaskan jenis-jenis perilaku dan kecenderungan kepribadian yang terkait dengan kepemimpinan yang efektif. Ini mungkin adalah teori akademis pertama tentang kepemimpinan. Thomas Carlyle (1841) dapat dianggap salah satu pelopor dari teori sifat, menggunakan pendekatan tersebut untuk mengidentifikasi bakat-bakat, keterampilan dan karakteristik fisik orang-orang yang bangkit untuk kekuasaan. Ronald Heifetz (1994) menelusuri kembali pendekatan teori sifat pada abad kesembilan belas mengasosiasikan tradisi sejarah masyarakat dengan sejarah orang-orang besar.

Para pendukung pendekatan sifat biasanya membuat daftar kualitas kepemimpinan, dengan asumsi ciri-ciri atau karakteristik tertentu akan cenderung menyebabkan kepemimpinan yang efektif. Shelley Kirkpatrick dan Edwin A. Locke (1991) memberikan contoh teori sifat. Mereka berpendapat bahwa "ciri pemimpin kunci meliputi: drive (istilah yang luas yang mencakup prestasi, motivasi, ambisi, energi, kegigihan, dan inisiatif), motivasi kepemimpinan (keinginan untuk memimpin namun tidak untuk mencari kekuasaan sebagai tujuan pada dirinya sendiri), kejujuran , integritas, kepercayaan diri (yang dikaitkan dengan kestabilan emosi), kemampuan kognitif, dan pengetahuan tentang bisnis. Menurut penelitian mereka, "ada bukti kurang jelas ciri-ciri seperti karisma, kreativitas dan fleksibilitas".

Kritik untuk teori sifat

Meskipun teori sifat mempunyai daya tarik intuitif, kesulitan mungkin muncul dalam membuktikan dengan ajaran, dan para penentang dari pendekatan ini sering menentang teori pendekatan ini. Versi paling kuat dari teori sifat ini melihat "karakteristik kepemimpinan" sebagai bawaan, dan sesuai label beberapa orang sebagai "pemimpin yang dilahirkan" karena make up psikologis mereka. Pada pembacaan teori ini, pengembangan kepemimpinan melibatkan identifikasi dan mengukur kualitas kepemimpinan, penyaringan pemimpin potensial dari non-pemimpin, kemudian pelatihan dengan potensi tersebut.
( Sumber : wikipedia.org )

2009-10-28T08:25:00.001-07:00

A hug, give us the opportunity to feel our partner's body and identify with. There is an a vibration that makes our souls connected with her soul. Hugging can also foster a sense of love and reminds us saying if we are part of a couple, not the one who became friends to 'sleep together' or having fun only.

Because of that, we tried to give an affectionately hug . There are various arms of loving thing we can do, start from the light hug, to the 'sexual' hug.
There are several types of hugs:

- Small Hugs : This is the arms that we can give to simply say goodbye, for the success of our partners. It is usually done quickly without any effort at all.

- Tight Hugs : it is the arms that we can do at the time one of 'us' being happy. Or it could also be done when the desire for 'we' being the passionate. Usually these arms slightly longer time to power strong enough. (Example: when 'we' reach climax / 'exit')

- Hugs WITH caress: Hugging is usually given to someone who was gusr or sad. (example: when out lied). Fondling or rubbing dipunggungbertujuan to calm, so that they can more relaxed again.

- Hugs WITH PENETRATION: This course is very fun to do. To do this, 'we' could be in a position to sit or stand, while the couple took a position in front of us. While penetration, wrapping our hands on his shoulders, while our partner put his hands above our waist.

- Hugs TOTAL: It almost looks like a position side by side, but carried out with each other. In this position, 'we' both hugged each other until our hands and feet crossed each other one another.

Who wants to try?

10 Manfaat Dari Seks

2009-10-26T08:52:00.001-07:00

Ketika kita mengembangkan variasi seks di kamar tidur kita, hal itu membawa pengaruh positif bagi kesehatan kita karena ternyata seks baik untuk kita dalam cara-cara yang tidak pernah bisa dibayangkan.
Oleh Kathleen Doheny
WebMD Feature
Ditinjau oleh Louise Chang, MD

Ketika kondisi kita sedang dalam mood yang baik, hal yang penting di pikiran kita adalah meningkatkan sistem kekebalan tubuh atau mempertahankan berat badan yang sehat. Namun seks yang baik menawarkan manfaat kesehatan bagi kita dan banyak lagi manfaat yang diberikan.

Itu kejutan bagi banyak orang, kata Joy Davidson, PhD, New York psikolog dan seks terapis. "Tentu saja, seks bisa kita temui di media apapun," katanya. "Tapi gagasan bahwa kita sangat penting, makhluk-makhluk seksual masih tampak di dalam beberapa kasus dengan jijik atau dalam kasus lain sedikit malu. Jadi, untuk benar-benar melihat bagaimana seksualitas kita menambah kehidupan kita dan meningkatkan kehidupan kita dan kesehatan kita , baik secara fisik dan psikologis, adalah membuka mata bagi banyak orang. "

Sex memang suatu benda yang baik dalam beberapa cara, menurut Davidson dan ahli lainnya. Manfaat tidak hanya anekdot atau kabar angin - masing-masing 10 manfaat kesehatan seks didukung oleh pengamatan ilmiah.

Di antara manfaat yang sehat dalam suatu hubungan cinta:
1. Sex Meredakan Stres

Besar manfaat kesehatan seks adalah menurunkan tekanan darah dan mengurangi stres secara keseluruhan, menurut para peneliti dari Skotlandia yang melaporkan temuan mereka dalam jurnal Biological Psychology. Mereka mempelajari 24 wanita dan 22 pria yang menyimpan catatan aktivitas seksual mereka. Kemudian para peneliti mengalami situasi stres mereka - seperti berbicara di depan umum dan melakukan verbal aritmatika - dan mencatat tekanan darah mereka respons terhadap stres.

Mereka yang melakukan hubungan seksual lebih baik tanggapan terhadap stres daripada mereka yang terlibat dalam perilaku seksual lainnya atau abstain.

Studi lain yang diterbitkan dalam jurnal yang sama menemukan bahwa hubungan seksual sering dikaitkan dengan tekanan darah diastolik lebih rendah di cohabiting peserta. Namun penelitian lain menemukan hubungan antara pasangan pelukan dan menurunkan tekanan darah pada wanita.
2. Sex boosts Imunitas

Kesehatan seksual yang baik dapat berarti kesehatan fisik yang lebih baik. Berhubungan seks sekali atau dua kali seminggu telah terhubung dengan tingkat yang lebih tinggi yang disebut antibodi imunoglobulin A atau IgA, yang dapat melindungi Anda dari flu dan infeksi lainnya. Para ilmuwan di Universitas Wilkes di Wilkes-Barre, Pa, mengambil sampel air liur yang mengandung IgA dari 112 mahasiswa yang melaporkan frekuensi seks mereka.

Mereka yang berada di "sering" grup - sekali atau dua kali seminggu - memiliki tingkat IgA lebih tinggi dibandingkan dalam tiga kelompok lain - yang dilaporkan sedang berpuasa, melakukan seks kurang dari sekali seminggu, atau memiliki terlalu sering, tiga atau lebih kali seminggu.
3. Sex Burns Calories

Tiga puluh menit dari seks membakar 85 kalori atau lebih. Mungkin kedengarannya tidak banyak, tetapi itu menambah atas: 42 sesi setengah jam akan membakar 3.570 kalori, lebih dari cukup untuk kehilangan satu pon. Penggandaan atas, maka Anda bisa drop bahwa pon dalam 21 jam-lama sesi.

"Seks adalah cara besar latihan," kata Patti Britton, PhD, Los Angeles sexologist dan presiden Asosiasi Amerika Seksualitas Pendidik dan Therapist. Dibutuhkan kerja, baik dari fisik dan psikologis perspektif, untuk melakukannya dengan baik, katanya.

Sex And Healthy Life

2009-10-18T07:44:00.000-07:00

Actually, to get vibrant health is easy and simple. according to some health experts, a healthy sexual relationship had a positive impact on our health.

The doctors say that having sex can slow the aging process, boost the immune system, improves blood circulation, and make live longer.

Dr David Weeks from the Royal Edinburgh Hospital believes that the most effective way to stay young looking is to maintain an active sex life.

"Sex is the most aerobic fun because sex can increase heart rate and pump oxygen around the body that can enhance the immune system," he said.

Here are five benefits of sex for health, namely:

1. Make ageless

According to Dr Weeks' research, people who had sexual intercourse three times a week appear four to seven years younger. This is because sex is a form of aerobic exercise that provides skin rejuvenation. Sexual intercourse done with enthusiasm means a lot of pumping oxygen around the body that carried blood and nutrients to the surface of your skin.

2. Being fit

Although sex is not the most effective way to lose weight, you can burn between 100 and 250 calories per hour and also exercise the muscles as a whole.

3. Increasing mood

When a woman reaches orgasm, they issued a sex hormone called oxytocin which is produced by the base of the brain that can generate emotional feelings such as warmth and foster mutual help improve ties between the two men.

4. Helps prevent heart disease

Sex has a special advantage for men, especially if they are 40 years old. Because sex can help increase testosterone that can protect the heart.

5. Helping circulation

Sex is aerobic exercise that can improve blood circulation because it will allow oxygen and nutrients to flow in the blood flow more easily

So what are you waiting for?
do with your spouse regularly, then you will get many benefits in addition to fun, pleasure and intimacy with your partner.

Get the Sexual Orgasm Together with Spouse

2009-10-18T07:28:00.000-07:00
Sometimes, to reach the sexual climax (orgasm) is not easy for some couples. Many couples fail to reached sexual pleasure and satisfaction or to satisfy their partner, but if you and your partner know the technique to reach orgasm at the same time, not a difficult thing to be sipping pleasure in unison.

If you're one of those people who want to know how the recipe for an orgasm with a partner, who summarized Cosmopolitan recipe you can follow the following:

Timeliness
Compared to men, the women takes longer time to wake her mood up. Timeliness is an important role in stimulating the female body.

If time is available for very little sex scene, women are also less enjoy the way the "game". Thus, only the man who picked up the top of pleasure.

You see, women want any longer time to being intimate while in the arms of her partner. If you want to make her lost in the heat of action, then you should spend more time to enjoy foreplay.

Speed
Style orgasm sex determining the outcome at the end of the struggle. If you just set the speed of Mr. P as the penetration, it means you are trying to set the rhythm of the game.

Adjust the position of women having sex will make it easier to follow the rhythm of Mr P. So that women would feel comfortable and get the greatest orgasm...Hmmm?

The Clean Location Give the feeling of Comfort
Do not ever forget the comfort factor when penetration took place. The key, sex hygiene and the location is not a noisy place. Cleanliness location when you make love with your spouse contributed to the comfort.

Surrender
Surrender of a woman makes her partner was more keen. Why? It is said that men have their own assessment of his partner as "explored" by his Mr P .

The man will feels be a winner in the battle with a woman. Moreover, if the attitude of resignation and surrender to the woman took out a sigh and moan and flirty.

Not only indicates that the couple enjoyed every of your action , but you also made more aroused when you hear these voices.

Women dominate battle
Now it's time for women to dominate the struggles. There is no time for the embarrassment in front of him. Confident attitude to conquer the "wild" man's action ,you can conquer with the flexibility of Miss V. it will gives a hot surprise to the spouse when you are in bed.

How To Get Multiple Orgasm

2009-10-17T06:59:00.000-07:00
In fact, there's no part of our anatomy which is significantly specially used for sexual pleasure, which we can achieve multiple orgasms, or can we experience it?

We can do better

Before you try to have a multi-orgasm, you should try to stop thinking about sex even though it is very challenging, stop making your partner orgasm and stop trying various sex positions. Maybe you do not want to read about it but you must identify the body, mind and soul of your own.

May sound fun, but you also need to understand if multiple orgasms will not come through physical stimulation - you must identify yourself and freeing your mind from all the problems you have.

Stop emphasis on sexual body parts and start watching every pore of your body. If you want to give a shot and dissolved into another world with your female partner and enjoy the sensation of orgasm that you have never experienced before.

Tantra

What tantra is? Tantra refers to the total capacity ranging from the mental, emotional, and cultural conditions so that all the energy in your body will flow throughout the body without having to exert effort.

Warren Farrell, author of 'Women Can not Hear What Men Do not Say' do a study that concluded that men tend to want to have sex if all conditions are met, especially physical attractiveness.

Whereas women tend to still have to consider all the circumstances the appeal, honor, emotional, and intellectual are all interrelated. Some women even add a fifth and sixth conditions such as - singleness, status / success criteria, and added the seventh, eighth, and ninth criterias: should men: the men had to declare a call out, men also have to pay, and they also have to accept when the women refused to be kissed, held hands, and so on.

The men always feel that their expectations are always lower than women - there is only one condition - and they could not find it, though they always feel better in sexual activities.so that, the men much focus on physical attractiveness and their external appearance, communication , intimacy, love and commitment uncertainty. Maybe we all know that lack of sexual fulfillment trigger sexual ability between partners.

Tantra helps you to stop thinking about sex even if only involving Mr. P and Miss V and began to feel it from within. Once you experience it may have some regret why you never knew before.

Awaken Your Sexual Power Back

The first thing you should do is try to find the key to your own body erotic. This will help you to stop focusing on Mr. P and divert it to other parts of your body.

This relationship will not limit the enjoyment you've been feeling. Exploring Tantric sex only occurs when used as a medium to identify yourself,just believe if you recognize your body, you are guaranteed to satisfy your partner that occurs naturally.

Second, you may develop a new relationship with your Mr. P mean by giving the name and it often looked after it. Because many men who masturbate by different mechanical ways (sometimes by force and sense in a hurry) that can eliminate the sensitivity and tenderness.

If you limit your sexual experience only in the scope of the genital area, maybe you need a lot of practice to achieve multiple orgasms. But remember that it is not your final destination and if you only focus on those things you probably will lose the points in Tantric sex.

Orgasm Without Ejaculation

Maybe we all know that orgasm associated with ejaculation, and also had sex is the orgasm trigger. But the last thing you need to know is that sex is a routine activity to release tension.

Separate parts of the nervous active system is orgasm and ejaculation, orgasm and ejaculation usually occurs spontaneously, it can occur in any individual. For men, multiple orgasm in a long time may occur without ejaculate.

With Tantra men can increase the maximum capacity to the highest level with a climax that quite often happens with pleasure that tends not right.

How to achieve multiple orgasms?

You can start with the following steps but keep in mind that you still need a lot of practice to reach peak enjoyment you want.

Take a breath slowly and deeply through your mouth to channel the energy in your body (like meditation), massage the whole body of your spouse and try to control the ejaculation as long as possible, and try to stay calm during this session. Try to begin to recognize your own body and more erotic. Talk with your partner, stay calm and relaxed during this exercise.

Try thinking about what is in your body, your soul, your heart, your heartbeat rate, thoughts, and feelings in your body.

The men who can achieve multiple orgasms achieve emotional happiness with their partners. When a man can find the capacity to relax in the 'pleasure' , he can reach a new level that can only be experienced by direct experience.

(taken from any sources)

How To Seduce Your Husband

2009-10-17T06:10:00.000-07:00
Sexuality experts found a number of techniques the woman's need to now how to satisfy her male partner in terms of sex. Some of the techniques are in a way that we never thought before as a playing toes or with words flattery.
Sarah Hedley, sexuality expert and editor of the American men's magazine, Maxim, describes six tricks for a woman to be able to satisfy her male partner in sex, namely:
1. During intercourse the woman can try the little tricks of grabbed and squeezed the toes of her male partner while pulling gently. This technique is based on the findings that the bones of his toes "associated" with the genital. A touch or additional stimulus that the course will bring pleasure.
2. Giving encouragement with words. For that she should not feel ashamed or hesitant to use words so that her partner can imagine the "wildness" of a sexual fantasy.
3.Say the flattering words . Most men will "work" better when his ego up. Men also love if his spouses flattering his manhood. For example stimulated with his chest or solidity of his body. Because of that, let's say without hesitation all the tributes to the man of your partner, because it will be a burning passion.
4. The longer a man is stimulated the higher levels of orgasm. In order to achieve the highest possible level, keep warm-up period as long as possible. If necessary, do not give your spouse the opportunity in a hurry to penetrate. Stalling in this case it is very good for both parties.
5. Intercourse with a position to do that can make the hips could be higher. This position can provide benefits for men because they do not have much to strut for himself. Another thing, the same position would make his arms free to give a caress or a stimulus to the female partner's body parts.
6. Women need to make sure that she is a "sex goddess" for his partner. Women will also be able to enjoy the "wildness" partner and get ready to get wild techniques that emerged from the fantasy, as quoted from the book "Tips & Tricks Achieving Sex Pleasure", by Riri & Yoez
(Compiled from various sources)

An Art Of Love : Tantric Sex

2009-10-16T07:48:00.000-07:00
Sex is a very complex problem, because this is about the relationship between 2 different sex opponents (in a normal cause). Sometimes one or both parties feel the boredom in sex or confused in terms of position or what style will be used to satisfy their partner. Here's one technique that good enough when compared with the techniques of the other sex.

Tantric sex was created in ancient India about 6000 years ago. In Sanskrit, tantra or tantric means to develop, expand, explain, or show. Such as yoga or zen, tantric sex done with the aim of enlightenment, and this philosophy has been exceeded "bed matters" became to all aspects of our lives. In view of tantric sex, sex, and orgasms with spiritual awareness. When the energy of a man (called shiva) and female energy (shakti) united sexually, it is believed to be the highest point of enlightenment.

Key in tantric sex is to breathe. If you can make your body relax, and your mind free from worldly things, "goddess" in you will actually attend. With a breath, we can spread the orgasmic energy from the genitals to the entire body. This sensation can lead to a deeper connection and intimacy with a partner.
Therefore, wrong if you think that the goal of Tantra is to achieve a great orgasm. The essence of Tantra is to enter into the moment and enjoy the waves of sensation and build passion between you and your partner. If you only focus on the achievement of orgasm in the top, you will lose a variety of orgasmic pleasure that occurs in the body.
Relation to sex, tantric sex is a way to develop awareness and strengthen male and female in one harmonious whole. Tantra teaches how sacred love can be achieved through loving relationships and understand the condition of their partners.
To try it, Dawn Cartwright, SkyDancing Tantra instructor in Los Angeles, gives instructions for exercises that can be done alone.
Create a sacred place for sex. Change the atmosphere of your room, by placing a vase of flowers, aromatherapy oils, scented candles, fruit, and chocolate. Place the sheets, pajamas, or a dress with sensual materials, like silk.
Move your body and your favorite music Connect, and stand with your feet spread hip-width apart. Make your body relax, and breathe through the mouth so that your breath creeping toward the navel. Move your whole body, from legs, head, buttocks, for one minute. Lay, and then invite the couple to enter into the room. "You have opened all over the body of this tension, and increased sensitivity, allowing the pleasure to go," said Cartwright. "If you have sex after that, you have the opportunity to have an orgasm in your whole body."
Breathe and rock. Sit on the bed or on the floor, and facing the couple (put your foot on his lap). Start with closed eyes, and use your imagination to feel your breath moving in and out of the body. Allow your breath to pass about 8 inches below the navel. Begin to swing like I was sitting in a rocking chair, lean your chest forward as you breathe, and move back as you exhale. Then, when you inhale and swing forward, tighten the vaginal muscles; then release as you exhale and swing back.
"You may begin to feel sexual sensations," said Cartwright. Couples gaze as he continued to breathe, swing and tap along. "Extraordinary connection that you feel will bounce your mind. You are in the same condition, and more sensitive to each other."
Share tantric kiss
Continue to remain seated in his lap, and swing together. You inhale, as he threw his breath. As he breathed out, you will inhale partner into your body, and down to the sexual organs you. When you exhale, be aware that you have shared all of you with spouse. Kiss him, and sharing of breath. In this stage, intercourse is not even necessary because you are so merged into the self-pairs. That means you have take in Tantra, which is more major in desire and pleasure dive. If you feel this sensation, then you have successfully done.
When doing tantric sex, you both can make sense so special. The reason is, you both will not only achieve orgasm, but also improve sexual health. Besides being busy, feeling reluctant to become hyper sexual intercourse why someone can not satisfy their partner.
This is the main focus of tantric sex that teaches that sex is not just a physical union between a man and a woman, but also makes couples appreciate each other's body, passions, and strengths that each of you closer with your partner without shame or fear.
On the other hand, you and your sexual health will be a prime partner for a strong orgasm and often increase the production of the hormone oxytocin in the body. This hormone itself associated with personality, passion, social skills and emotional quotient (EQ), which then affect the career, views on marriage, social life, and emotional person.
If you want to know more about tantric sex, here are some facts that were presented by AskMen:

Tantra is the sexual freedom
Tantra covers aspects of mental, emotional, and cultural conditions, so by doing this action can liberate your energy. Tantra not only build awareness, but rather liberal.
Tantric sex makes the event feel more free, but not embarrassing. Tantra is performed intercourse without a sense of sin, even if done outside of marriage, by any cultural concerns and beliefs of each individual.

Tantra unites two beings
The essence of tantra is to strengthen the relationship of two beings in a harmonious whole. Tantra teaches how sacred love can be achieved through loving relationships. In tantra, sex can be done in total.
The fundamental difference between sexual relations with other styles and tantric sex this is done from the heart and body, and mind. Tantra teaches you how to receive a great battle scene.

(Source: Marie Claire as well as some other references about tantric)

How To Build Self Confidence

2009-10-15T09:00:00.000-07:00
It is inevitable that we've all experienced a no confidence sense . Sometimes we feel any difficulties to revive our confidence when we're needed. Actually there are simple exercises that can be practiced to get your confidence back as soon as possible when needed.
There are some steps to exercise our self confidence :

Socialized with the Men Who Have Self-Esteem and Positive Thinking - Environmental huge impact on someone. If you continue to mix with people who have low self-esteem, complainers and pessimists, how confident you have, slowly but surely going to fade and be dragged to follow your environment. Conversely, if you're surrounded by people full of happiness and self-esteem, will create a positive atmosphere that brings benefits for yourself.

Note Your Posture - this may sound not have a relationship with the confidence that we are talking about, but actually what attitude you are sitting or standing, sending certain messages to people in around your. If that message radiates confidence, you will get a positive response from others and of course this will increase the confidence of your own. So begin to sit and watch your feet to show you have confidence.

Exercise - Whenever you want to feel the confidence, the key is to exercise as often as possible. You can even bring it on your sleep. With a trained ability, you will not find any trouble to displaying confidence whenever it is needed.

Remember Back When You Feel Confident - Confidence is a feeling, and if you ever feel it once, it was impossible not to feel it again. Remembering back to the time where you feel confident and in control will make you relive that feeling and help put a framework of confidence that in mind.

Never Too Hard On Yourself - Do not criticize yourself, be the best friend for yourself. However, when a friend is going through hard times, you will not want his problem to be involved to your own emotional drain you, will you? Of course you do not want. Positive talking can be the best weapon to boost your self-confidence, so make sure you plant this habit, do not let the problems of others make you so poorly.

Do not be afraid Take Risks - If you are a risk taker, you'll find that this action could produce self-confidence. Nothing is more helpful in fostering self-confidence as push yourself out of your comfort zone. In addition, this action also works well to reduce your fear to any things that you do not know, plus can generating of your incredible confidence .

Know Yourself - Think all about what you like about your self and all that you know you can do well. If you have trouble doing this, remember the compliments you get from the people - What they say - you do well? A good idea to write all this, until you can see it again to grow your self-confidence up whenever you need.

More than anything, always remember that you have the talent and ability. Make sure you always do what's best for all of that, this is what would be the best springboard for building the confidence .

What G-Spot Is ?

2009-10-15T08:11:00.000-07:00
G-Spot or The Gräfenberg Spot is a small area on the vulva area, located behind the pubic bone and surrounding the urethra about 2-3 inches inside the vagina.
It is called by the name of a German obstetrician, Ernst Grafenberg.
This zona could be trusted as a file area surrounding the nerves of the vaginal wall, but is now reported that this point is part of the spongy urethra, Skene's glands near the homologue of the prostate in men.
This point is also located in the ventral from the vagina, in the middle distance between the pubic bone and cervix.
When this point is turned, then arises a sense of taste sensation like urinating, but if the point is to work during sex, it becomes a sense of sexual pleasure
(Shibley Hyde, J. and DeLamater, JD, Understanding Human Sexuality, Eighth Edition (2003)) .
For some women, this point can be a major stimulation to orgasm during sex, so for the men who want to satisfy their spouses, they should explore this area gently and see the result.

4 Nice Sex Steps With Your Spouse

2009-10-12T22:42:00.000-07:00
There are many ways to get a good sexual experience with your spouse, and all can get if the couple is in sense of love, mutual trust and openness to what they wanted.
Sex Therapists from London, Georgia Foster and Beverley Anne Foster recommend ways of removing sexual impasse may have experienced.

Georgia says "Focus on the mind as well as focus on the body that we have today. To get great experience, the mind determines everything. "Because of that, follow these four guidelines:

1. Advances AND TEMPTATIONS
The first secret to maintaining sexual desire is to seduce your partner. Many women and men also need to be seduced or been seduced to feel sexy. First of all we need to create that passion in mind. Do not think that the flame of passion that comes from other people. To appear in your own mind. It's your responsibility. Do not expect or wait for your spouse.

2. SENSATION
The second secret associated with a sixth sense. Relax and make yourself vulnerable. Absorb the energy that exists between you and your partner. Focus on what's around; smell, touch, sound and Taste! Without this sixth sense the sex would be boring.

3. Surrender
The third secret is when you give up and surrender to the couple and begin to having sex. Of course you have to pass the first and second secret, so that the mind and a sense of your feelings will be on at the time. You need to connect with your couple.

4. REFLECTION
When you feel comfortable and experience the extraordinary experiences through the three stages of this secret, try to reflect again on it. If the experience was bad, try to avoid it next time and find the better alternatives.

The Tao's Joyful Sex

2009-10-12T19:54:00.000-07:00
Sigmund Freud, the Psychoanalysis, says that almost all mental illnesses people suffered because of his sexual needs are not met.

Every man has a spear, the spear either long, short, small or large, straight or crooked. This spear is not owned by women, and this add to Freud made women into penis envy (envy with men's spear ).
But many of the spear that is not qualified to be able to do their job well and correctly.
So it's not unusual when each drug advertising can improve the ability of vital equipment is always in demand and men hunted.
In the science of Tao's Sex, the men do not need to take stimulants or powerful drugs as often advertised,
doing sex four to five hours is not a fantasy or a dream anymore and this is not only twice a week if necessary, every day is always ready to fight.

The word sex is absorbed from the Latin Sexus. Each person has the different aspects to evaluate and look at the point of sex, depending on the characteristics and the relevant understanding.
Often translated into English Idioms with the words "Make Love". . A word is quite beautiful, although in practice it did not fit with the words "make love" it, because it is done merely for the gratification or show of the might.

The word intercourse is the best word to describes Taoism Yin and Yang become one in harmony,while we have sex to unite with our spouses. So sex and meditation has a lot of similarity. At the time of sex will culminate is where we feel the unity in which two bodies into one body, and this is a dream for every couple.
Failures and disappointments in matters of sex going on, because they never could feel this togetherness. They never can feel where the bodies and their hearts become one. This is what makes our spouses become disappointed and frustrated, which is supported also by the extent of the weakness factor of male erectile capability.
It is said that according to the physician Sun Simiao : "The man who could intercourse with 93 women without even throwing out his lava (ejaculation), he will be 10 thousand years of life (means long life)." Why is that?

What happened after the man thrown his sperm?He will feel into tired , because his energy drained, it is no surprise after climax point, most men feel lazy to talk with his spouse and soon asleep. Unlike with women, he felt so fresh and wanted to talk to, as well as freshly watered plants. This is one of the differences between men and women.

It is also likely to make most of the wife so upset to the husband , because he felt treated like a dirty pot, just putted away after use. After ejaculation, the man's spear was bent and could not be used again, the fire was extinguished.

The essence of the teachings of the Tao is the style sex Orgasm without ejaculation during intercourse. Semen can be equated with the blood, not nice if people donate their blood every day. Besides, to restore it again takes time. Unlike the woman he receives the semen of men, so naturally when she became more and more fresh.

Well, it is believe that there will be many protests from men, because since we were young, we were taught if we get the climax of sexual intercourse, our sperm would spray out. Means that Orgasm without ejaculation was a big nonsense!

Remember our goal of sexual intercourse is for health and pleasure therefore that according to Sun Simao, when a man ejaculates, he is murdered by his wife, the fire had been extinguished, petite mort (little death).

Similarly, eat dinner destination is not merely to be satisfied, but to enjoy the food they will, people who can stop before satiety is a person who can live healthy. So also in the matter of sex.

Does this means we can not ejaculate anymore?Yes we can ! Ejaculation be required for fertilization, but try not to ejaculated so often, have sexual intercourse in other days as much as and as long as possible. Remember you will be able to beat ten battles in one night for not running out of bullets and during the fire is still burning and the spear will not crooked.

Think about it by you, without spewing his lava, he will always be ready to fight, because the weapon was still intact and the bullet is still complete. So if your wife asking to reply times and times in a day and night, you can always be ready, even if she asking for seven days in a week - there is no problem to you.

Men from Mars and Women Are from Venus

2009-10-12T08:04:00.000-07:00
- It is a mistake and mistakes in perception if we think our partners love us and will react or behave the same as our reaction
. Since every individual has the character and distinctive character. Moreover, men and women clearly differ in terms of physical and thinking. So we should be able to accept and understand these differences. A man (MARS) will tend to pull away and think about their problems in silence, while the women (VENUS) instinctively felt
the need to express and discuss things that are bothering them.

- When men and women are able to appreciate and accept differences of their differences, this love a chance to grow.
Through the understanding of the difference between "the opposite sex who is hidden, we can more successfully give and receive love in our hearts. By confirming and accepting the difference between "us, the solution" creative can be found, so we managed to get what we want. more importantly, we can learn how to love and support of a loved one in a better way .Love was magical, and may take a long time, if we remember the difference between "us.

- sense of self from a man defined by his ability to achieve results that make this man a success and achievement.
A man appreciate the power, skill, efficiency and achievement. They always do this was to prove themselves and develop the abilities and skills through .Self pride formulated by their ability to achieve the results ". They experience the satisfaction, especially if they are success.

-Giving unsolicited advice to men, meaning assume he does not know what to do, or that he can not do it alone.
This is a way to prove their capabilities so they can feel satisfied with himself.to get this satisfaction, man usually do many things by himself.Other men can not help him achieve those goals, man feels proud to do things on himself.Asking others help when he able to do it by themselves, considered as a weakness. Autonomy is a symbol of efficiency, strength and skill. Men save the trouble for himself, except when he needs others help to find a solution.

- sense of self from a woman defined by her feelings and the quality of relationships.
Women have the different value .They appreciate love, communication and relationships. They spend a lot of time to provide support, help and serve each other. The meaning of themselves is determined by the feelings and the quality of their relationships. They experience the satisfaction of sharing and more relation.Woman more attentive to living together in harmony, community and in lovefullycooperate .Communication is the main requirement. Sharing personal feelings are more important than achieving goals and success. Speaking and relate to one another is a source of great satisfaction. Personal expressions, especially expressions of feeling, very important to them. More women are relationship-oriented, not goal, they are more attentive to the disclosure of goodness, love and attention.

Men Are from Mars and women are from Venus.

Because it comes from the two planets are very far apart, turned out in developing relationships, Mars and Venus had a scoreboard that (much) different.

Scoreboard Venus

He assumes after working all day from 9-5 hours then he will get a score of 10,000 in their relationship.
Apparently not. Women only scoring 1 on it.
Venus scoring 1 for all things, SMALL or BIG. Women need a lot of expressions of love in a relationship to feel loved. One or two expressions of love, no matter how big and important, will not be enough. Doing a lot of little things (and get a lot of scores) is confidential to meet the needs of a woman's love. It's magic when a man does little things for his woman.

You work all day = (only) 1 score, but .....
You look for and find your wife when he returned home = 1 score, too!
You hug = additional 1 score again!
You kissed her cheek = 1 score
You ask "How's your day?" = 1 score
You say "I love you" = 1 score
You get your wife to drink = 1 score
You listen with sincere when she told = 1 score
Every time your wife to change the topic and you are still listening = 1 score per topic
In the book there are more than 100 how to get the value in the eyes of his wife, here are some things I can note:
1. Arriving at home, seek her first and hug her.
2. When she told you the problem, listen and Empathize. DO NOT rush
offer a solution, she just wants to be heard.
3. When he talked to you, put a newspaper or turn off the TV / Computer
and give full attention to her.
4. Be patient when she was sharing. You DO NOT look at your watch.
5. Hold it four times a day.
6. Schedule extra time when traveling so that he does not need to rush.
7. Every now and then offer to help wash the dishes.
8. If you're going to be late, call her and tell her.
9. Praise her for his performance.
10. When going out, ask if anyone wants to buy.
11. Tell her "I love you" at least several times a day.
12. The bed and clean the bedroom.
13. If you're out of town, call to provide telephone numbers where you
can be reached.
14. Offer to massage her back, neck or legs (or all).
15. Be sure to provide an occasional whisper of tenderness.
16. Do not press the remote control to a different channel when she was watching TV with you.
17. Kiss her and say hello if you want to go.
18. Be understanding if she was late or decide to changed her clothes.
19. Make it more important than the kids.
20. Buy her the small gifts.
21. Buy her clothing.
22. Take her picture on special occasions.
23. Take a romantic walk short.
24. Make her knows that you carry a picture in your wallet.
25. Drive vehicle with caution.
26. Surprising her with a love letter / poem / sms .
27. Offer to carry groceries.
28. Praise her cooking.
29. Look at her eyes while listening to the conversation.
30. Laugh at her jokes and humor.
31. Verbally say thank you when she does something to you.
32. Create a special moment when alone with her.
33. Tell her that you miss her when you go away.
34. When holding hands, do not let your hands limp.
35. Help out the garbage.
36. Close the bathroom or toilet's door.

There are many other things that can be given a partner to partner, to the need creativity and a deep understanding of the character and preferences of each spouse and make sure her love will only be directed at you.
(Source: Men Are from Mars Women Are from Venus. Author: John Gray, Ph.D)

Clitoris Exploration to Speed Female Orgasm

2009-10-12T07:28:00.000-07:00
ORGASM is a final destination in an intimate relationship between husband and wife. For that, you are required to be tough males on the bed. Can serve and give your partner satisfaction during sexual intercourse .Miss V and clitoris are the crown of women, these two sensitive areas should consider to make a great aroused of your partner.
With diligent "play" in this area, you'll be more adept in love and became a idol husband by the your wife .Even women can achieve orgasm many times in a one-time "battle", but to reach orgasm is not easy. Necessary techniques and know-how on all sides in her, both physically and psychologically. Orgasm in women is a fusion of pleasure that is felt through to the climax.
clitoris is one of the most sensitive point of a woman who if "explore" the right way will undoubtedly immediately lit lust.

Forms
The clitoris consists of a circular area or head, called the glans, and a longer part, called stems, which have shapes similar to the basin that belongs to the penis. Tissue from the inner lips normally covers the clitoris stem, which form a hood or foreskin to protect it. The only part of the clitoris which can be seen directly is the glans, which looks like small buttons shining. Size and shape vary in every woman. The clitoris can be seen by pushing the skin covering the clitoris to the rear. There are so many nerve endings in the clitoris and the surrounding areas.

Function
The number of nerve endings in the clitoris caused it to be very sensitive to touch or pressure directly or indirectly. This is similar to the penis in men. Stimulation on the clitoris can be enjoyable, even giving the owner of sexual pleasure is the only function of this organ is unknown, and the clitoris is the only human organ that has the pleasure-giving as the main function. The clitoris has nothing to do with pregnancy, menstruation, or urine

clitoris stimulated Process
When a woman becomes sexually aroused, the glans clitoris and bars fill with blood and its size enlarged. These glands can double the size in diameter. There is no evidence that a larger clitoris means higher sexual arousal. As erotic stimulation continues and orgasm to come, the clitoris becomes less visible because the network covered by the enlarged clitoral hood. Enlargement is designed to protect the clitoris from direct contact, which, for some women, may interfere rather than make a joyful. The clitoris will come out again when the stimulation is stopped.
After orgasm the clitoris back to the original size within ten minutes because orgasm causes the dissolution of the accumulated blood. If a woman does not have an orgasm, the blood that has flowed into the clitoris due to sexual arousal may remain there, causing enlarged clitoris remains for several hours. Many women who feel this discomfort.
A woman's clitoris can be stimulated through touch, directly or indirectly. During intercourse the penis does not touch the clitoris directly. The entry of the penis into the vagina, any position which is used, move the labia minora, and the movement of the lips that touch the clitoris is that usually causes orgasm. Direct contact by touching the clitoris with a finger, vibrator, or the tongue can cause discomfort for many women. For these women, persuasion or flattery used in the area around the clitoris feels more enjoyable. Other women enjoy direct stimulation. There are countless variations on the sensitivity of the clitoris, and every woman will find what feels best "Giving an appeal to the area of the clitoris and G-spot women, is a unique combination of sensation can be felt women. They can obtain sexual pleasure and exceptional durability, "explains Ava Cadell, PhD, sex therapist in Los Angeles, told the clitoris area Cosmopolitan.Orgasme trusted faster, because you can do with ease through the lips, hands, or directly with Mr. P! Before that, make sure the media to touch a woman's clitoris to the wet conditions, so as not to hurt your partner, because the clitoris is very soft skin and sensitive, do it gently and with care, love hatian.Carilah a comfortable position before you begin to stimulate this area. The touch, even a gentle kiss, and "games" of your tongue on her clitoris can make a pair great scream, and will bring a high flying and make it not stand to continue the level of play is higher. And which should be noted, in addition to touching on the clitoris or the techniques of other stimuli, comfortable feeling of a woman against her partner plays a major role in determining satisfaction, a quality intimate relationships must also be supported by tenderness, attention and affection from both sides

Making Love Everyday and The Sperm Quality

2009-10-12T07:02:00.000-07:00
based on new research, perform sex every day increases a man's sperm quality and recommended for couples who are trying to have a child.

Until now doctors have debated whether or not he should refrain from sex for several days before making efforts to have a child with her partner to increase the chances of pregnancy.

But a new study conducted by Dr. David Greening of Sydney IVF, an infertility treatment center and in vitro fertilization (IVF) Australia, suggest that abstinence is not the right approach.

He studied 118 men with sperm DNA damage on average and find the quality of their sperm count increased significantly after they were told to ejaculate daily for seven days.

On average, their DNA fragmentation index - a measure of sperm damage - fell to 26% from 34% t, Greening said the European Society of Human Reproduction and Embryology in Amsterdam.

Sex often does reduce the volume of semen, but this is not a problem for most men.

"It seems safe to conclude that couples who have a relative parameters of normal semen should perform sex every day for up to one week before the date of ovulation," he said.

"In the context of assisted reproduction, this simple treatment can help improve sperm quality and ultimately achieve a pregnancy."

Greening said that most likely frequent ejaculation increase sperm quality by reducing the length of time they are exposed to the potentially damaging molecules called reactive oxygen species in testikuler channel.
(Source : perempuan.com)

To Be Positive in Life

2009-10-12T01:25:00.000-07:00
In our modern world nowaday, when people are demanded to work harder and harder and being succeed in career, it is very easy to get stress or depression. We put mostly of our time reach the gain in our work, and by other side, something is missing from our life, sense of peace and happiness! Then, the results being happen to us, as depresive, insomnia, stress and even mental sickness. At this case, money and good career mean nothing, they can’t buy our health and happiness.
Ofcourse yes, we can’t avoid this all modern living style, but at least, we can eliminate the negative things come into our life. We can build our positive thinking to reduce any negatives. We deserve to live better in healthy and happiness. We still have a chance to live together in happiness with people we loved.
But building positive mentality and avoiding negativity sometimes jut a big issue, it is easy to speak and hard to reach. So how can we being positive in so many negatives that surround us? How can we be happier in stressing condition around us?
Here are some wise words tell us about how to live positive and eliminate negatives.

Think You Are Positive One
It’s important to you to think positive about you, as you are what you think. Left far behind every negative mind that tell the negatives about you. Every morning, as you wake up from your bed, praise to God, and say thank to Him for the blessfull days before and for the new day. Spend your time for praying, and start facing the day. Feel the different after you done it in few days or weeks. It is not instantly changing your world.

Left Your Past Faraway Behind
It doesn’t matter who you are in the past and what have you done, you still have a chance to have a bright future. One of the big demotivator is your past. If you always thingking of your past, you will miss your future. Just start your new day with your new spirit and reach your future.

Self Acceptation
The next step after you left your future, try to accept your self with love, give your self the chance to do the better in the days ahead. Reward your self if you do better thing or after finish your work properly. Don’t let someone or anything else weaken you and do your best.

Change Your Bad Habits to be Good
Lots of us, often wasting life do something useless, if you do it often and often, it will become your bad habits and it be a negative point for your life. Don’t wait until tomorrow, start from now, change it into the better one. Eg. If you always drink any alcoholic beverage, means that you are slowly destroy your health and mind and also waste you money, you can change it , change alcoholic beverages with water, fruity juice, tea or others healthy drinks, it will give a great support to your health and mental healthy.

Share Your Positive Life to Others
Go action, you can share your positive life to others, you can help others in need. Once we spread our positive to people around us, our positiveness will growing and keep growing. Once you help others who needs, it would give you one big happiness in your life. Link your self with people who own or willing to own the positive thinking and life.

Keep Praying
No matter how hard you have tried, it’s all would be useless if there’s no God’s assistance. Spend your time each day more often for praying, sharing your problems and everything to God,asking His help and just believe, that God will help you.

Tips of Self Improvement

2009-10-11T23:17:00.000-07:00
As long as we are still alive, there's always the ability and the possibility to change and grow. We may be able to do whatever we want to do, be what we want. Always try to learn and listen to samples and positive thoughts on how to continue the development and then apply them in our lives.

* Personally responsible for the growth of self, no one will do it for us. What we do today will determine success in the future.

* Spend time every day to do something meaningful for ourselves.

* Take time to improve the knowledge and expertise as our field. The world is always changing rapidly and we must always learn to manage change or we will be left far behind.

* Do not always look back to the past. We can only control our actions today, so what should we do now?

* Learning from the "experience of others" than to have to try everything for yourself. This saves time and reduces risk.

* Facing the problem will help us learn patience and strengthen management skills, and also a good mental exercise.

* Always analyze a problem and error in which we engage in it. This will greatly help us to avoid the same mistakes in the future.

* Give yourself credit when you work properly on the most important priorities.

* Do not ever say something that can not or will not do. Search and learn way to do it.

* Learning, whether it's reading, seeing, thinking and so on will help to grow in the direction of our goals.

* Eliminate one thing is a waste of time in a week of our lives.
* Read at least one chapter of a book in a day.

* Read at least one book a month.

* Always hungry to understand to what life has to offer and then live the offer.

* Decide what you really want to do and do best.

* Develop yourself as a resource for other people through a network. Find out who's doing what, when and to whom. We can find very good contacts for our future needs and to the needs of others we meet.

* Working to balance the goal of life for the family, economic, professional, social environment, religion and recreation.

* Always focus on the goal in mind when starting a new activity.

* Never be afraid of failure. You can learn and change from the failure.

* Think of our main goals and visualize to help stay focused on the goal.

* Learn from people who could get more done than we do. Maybe we can find ways to improve what we have done.

* Make friends with someone who is positive and that will help us by providing feedback, advice, challenge and support.

* Learn several "models" and observe their style and actions. Do not try to imitate them, but learn from their experiences.

* Learn from the mistakes of others and also from their success.

* Fill the mind with positive ideas, so in our thoughts and inspiration will not have room left for negative things.

* Make cooperation with any one increases your experience.

* Learn and understand the work patterns in the organization so that we can learn more about all the activities available.

* Do your best without any doubt and believe that we can do it.

* We can learn from anything and everything we have experienced.

* Give credit to us when it has successfully completed the learning objectives.

* Keep a daily journal, recording thoughts, ideas, feelings and progress of personal growth.

* Ask questions, listen, and then ask more questions. From there we will learn and help others learn.

* Ask yourself, "How can I change my fate?"

* Approach and befriend someone who we respect and we know his ability. They will support us and we will learn from interaction with them.

* Find information about new projects that are in our responsibilities. Look for new ideas all the time.

* Give yourself a challenge to us to learn something new every day.

* Always flexible and able to adapt.

* Be open to others and genuinely interested in them. we can learn from every person we meet.

* Always train the mental and new skills.

* Save a record of what we accomplished on the day and time that has passed. If we do not resolve as much as we want, it gives encouragement to do better for next time.

* Make notes of the answers of the questions

* Practice overcome personal habits that are not useful to be productive habits, for example: change the gossip habits become a useful discussion.

* Keep a record of the idea of new ideas. At least once a week to review and review those ideas.

(Source www.liraz.com)

Body Language

2009-10-11T21:19:00.001-07:00
In our daily life, there always be any communication with others, which would give the impression between us , both positive impression or vice versa.
In communicating with someone, sometimes we don’t realize that our bodies show our emotion or what we feel inside. we can observe it in the body gestures, face expression or other signs.
Some of the following are examples of human body language.

The signs of non-verbal
Whether consciously or not, people always send and receive non-verbally signals . When we get the first impression of someone who we had known, generally we know from his body language, not of words.

Learning to understand
When we would go to a place or any event, we should consider the people and atmosphere. So learn how to read body language and make sure you give the correct feeling that can be your savior. Some movements more real than others. For example, if the hand clutching his chest, can be meaning that soeone keep the distance to anybody else, may not like other people or uncomfortable being around him. However, it also can indicate coldness. The way some one’ handshake by strong and steady give the strong and friendly impression also acceptation than than handshake is weak and indifferent.
Each person who able to learn these signs and control the body language will get many opportunities to give a good impression.
There are some very talented people to manipulate their body language, so nearly everyone will be fooled about what he has in mind or a feeling person.
There are four guidelines in understanding the human body language. Four guidelines are able to remove the trap rapid interpretation and processing generalizations such other person who was memperlajari about body language, too.

The first guideline is harmony.
Signal for the signal to form a strong interpretation. Conflict between cues to provide a practical interpretation of the lack of credibility. This means that, between one signal with another signal refers to a conclusion. Thus concluded on the basis of a signal provides an opportunity we are stuck. Harmony was in existence can be connected externally with words. Speech as a support tothe appear gesture. Harmony between gesture and sign with the words is the key to obtain an accurate interpretation of the right.

Guidelines for the second accordance with the situation.
All gestures should be associated with the current situation. Suppose someone who sits at the bus station with his one foot on his other foot, arms crossed and chin withdrawn while the weather was heavy rain. Under these conditions, he probably does not mean defensive freezing. If only someone had showed the same gesture while we sit in front of him while trying to sell an idea or product it can be interpreted to mean that he did not like. Conformity between signals with the current situation is a key signal to obtain an accurate interpretation and appropriate.

The third guideline is to know clearly the other person's physical condition.
a man who has a cold handshake is often accused of being weak personality. In fact, he was quizzed after suffering arthritis in his hands so he did that when shaking hands to avoid pain. Or a woman who inadvertently makes a man blamed interpreted as she spoke with the man, as she blinked as dust or feel the dry eyes, so that the man interpreted that she was interested and flirtatious.

fourth guideline is to know clearly the status and power.
Status, power or prestige a person is inversely proportional to the number of gestures used. The speed of a few cues and how clear it seems too have a relation with age. As a child 5 years old to lie to his parents he will soon hand over his mouth after speaking. Signal was also carried out his mouth shut a teenager who was lying with his hand touched some variation of the mouth. Adults lie seen from the hand covering her mouth with the last variation and produce hand drawn gesture touched his nose. Gesture adults lie to them, is another sophisticated version of the gestures the children to lie.
The harmony between the signals, signal compatibility with the situation, physical clarity, and clarity of the status of power is four guidelines to understand the language of the human body.
(According to psychologist William James) there are four types of
body language in general implies your thoughts and feelings.
1. Open body language
Is posture toward the front (forward looking), the position of the body and face towards the opponent talk. This body language implies the readiness to give attention and warmth.
Generally, this body language reflects a positive response to the other person.
2. closed body language .
Posture pulled back, but not the other person back. Eg
look the other way when your opponent was speaking. This attitude reflects a sense of
embarrassed and bored. For the other person, this attitude is often interpreted in a manner
cool.
3. expansive body language .
Posture shown in the standby posture, such as standing up straight with your chin slightly
up. This attitude reflects a sense of pride and arrogance. Generally, this attitude has
by people who self-confidence is high. Unfortunately, the people like this usually less able to appreciate the other.
4. tense body language .
This is evident from the contract posture, as if drawn into the body.
For example face down, hands folded, and eyes do not dare to look. Attitude
This reflects a sense of disappointment, sadness, or frustration.

Some form of Body Language:

EYE CONTACT

Eye contact is one of the gateway to intimacy. Usually someone will always make eye contact if he feels comfortable or happy with his interlocutor. In relationships between men and women, usually women will look into his eyes that she liked, but most men will lose first in this action. Women will consider you as a man who is confident when the eye contact action is for quite some time and even better if she is defeated first, face down or otherwise transfer.

Similarly, when you have a conversation. Look at her eyes, not that glaring. If more than about 60% of the sexes at each other's eyes in a time conversation, it is possible she is more interested in you are than what you are talking about.

leaned TO YOU

Leaned over, tilted his head to one side, and spoke with a softer voice, according to experts this may indicate some interest.

TOUCH

Men want to touch and she wants to be touched. The touch between opposite sex will increase oxitocyn hormone. So that will add to the intimacy. What about new people we know? It was not our ethical casually touched her. So we can’t be so easily touching. Women also have pride. But there are parts that normal to the touch as the hands and arms.
When we meet her, do not just say hello course, shake her hand gently and slowly release.
We don’t have to touch in a long time, but better if we do it more often. Either pinched or gently nudged. Again and again it shows that we are more confident and not intimidated by her beauty.

MOVEMENT

Consider if she has cool talking with her friends. Excited movements seen freely. Unlike when he was with the opposite sex. Women will be changing the seat position if she feels attracted to you. As if to attract attention., Such as changing the sitting position, turn left and crossed her legs one in other.

SMILE

One indicator of body language is the strongest of our smile. A smile makes you look better, your smile can also be an indication of your health. There are some smile human’s smiling when communicating, whether it is a cynical smile, smile in delight, amusement and so on.

(Compiled from various sources.)

Etika Bersetubuh

2009-09-19T08:45:00.000-07:00
Topik mengenai seks memang tidak pernah ada habisnya, selalu menarik bahkan sering menjadi daya darik dalam menjalani kehidupan.

Salah satu yang sangat perlu dimengerti adalah mengenai etika bersetubuh, terutama sebelum menjalankan kegiatan eksplorasi kenikmatan fisik, batin. Berikut adalah etika bersetubuh dalam buku dimaksud :

[1] Menggunakan wewangian sebelum bersetubuh. Dalam ash –shahihain, Aisyah berkata Aku mengoleskan wewangian kepada Nabi, lalu beliau berkeliling kepada istri-istrinya. Kemudian pada pagi harinya beliau mengenakan pakaian ihram yang terbasahi oleh wewangian (sunah).

[2] Mencumbu istri sebelum bersetubuh untuk membangkitkan gairah istri sehingga istri mendapatkan apa yang diharapkannya.

[3] Berdoa saat akan bersetubuh. Ada doa khusus seperti yang diriwayatkan Albukhari dan muslim.

[4] Bersenggama, boleh dilakukan dari arah depan maupun belakang sepanjang yang dituju adalah vagina.

[5] Suami tidak mencabut penisnya sebelum istri mengalami orgasme, meskipun suami lebih dahulu mengalami orgasme.

[6] Tidak menyetubuhi istri yang sedang haid (haram).

[7] Tidak menyetubuhi istri ‘pada’ duburnya (haram).

[8] Tidak menceritakan gaya bersetubuh yang dijalani kepada khalayak (haram).

[9] Mandi setelah bersetubuh walaupun tidak keluar air mani (wajib).

[10] Menggunakan penutup/selimut saat bersetubuh .

Inilah garis besar etika bersetubuh yang disampaikan dalam fatwa komtemporer di atas. Mungkin yang sering terlupakan adalah doa. Jadi Silahkan ntar malam berdoa dulu ya, baru kemudian lakukan kegiatan yang menyenangkan bersama istri Anda.

3 Fantasi Bercinta Wanita

2009-09-19T08:43:00.001-07:00
Menikmati indahnya pertempuran di atas ranjang akan terasa semakin menarik dengan adanya fantasi liar yang berbeda dalam setiap permainan.

Kendati demikian, kaum hawa sering kali terlihat malu-malu mengungkapkan fantasi dan ekspresi gairah bercinta mereka. Padahal, tanpa dipungkiri wanita juga memiliki fantasi liar yang tidak sepenuhnya diungkapkan secara lugas.

Untuk memuaskan fantasinya yang terpendam, ini adalah saatnya pria menyimak dan mengerti apa yang menjadi keinginan pasangannya dan bersikap kreatif menjadikan pertempuran lebih berwarna.

Menurut Askmen, ada tiga fantasi yang diinginkan wanita terhadap pasangannya, di antaranya:

Anda Menjadi Seorang Penculik

Tidak hanya para pria yang suka menyimpan segudang fantasi bercinta, wanita pun memiliki fantasi berbeda. Salah satunya, dia manginginkan pasangannya menjadi seorang penculik, yang menculik dirinya dan menyekap dalam sebuah rumah di daerah terpencil dan mengikat kedua tangan tali serta menutup kedua matanya dengan penutup mata. Pastinya aktivitas bercinta kali ini kan menjadi sangat menarik untuk dilewatkan begitu saja.

Anda Takluk Terhadap Dirinya

Salah satu fantasi para wanita lainnya adalah melihat pasangannya takluk akan permainan yang sedang berlangsung, hingga sang pria menyerah dan memilih untuk menghentikan permainan. Tidak heran jika dalam mewujudkan fantasinya yang satu ini para wanita lebih memilih mengenakan lingerie dan sepatu high heel untuk menarik perhatian sang lawan jenis.

Anda adalah Sang Bos Nakal

Fantasi menjadi sekretaris nakal cenderungnya merupakan salah satu fantasi yang paling diminati kaum hawa. Tidak heran jika para wanita berharap pasangannya menjadi bos nakal yang kerap mengganggu pekerjaannya dan mengajakanya bercinta seusai jam kantor berakhir.
(Okezone.Com)

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2009-09-17T02:18:00.001-07:00
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SISI POSITIF MASTURBASI SECARA KESEHATAN

2009-09-08T09:15:00.000-07:00
Diakui ataupun tidak, baik lelaki maupun perempuan , entah itu lajang ataupun sudah menikah, pasti sudah pernah melakukan masturbasi atau onani. Terlepas dari norma agama ataupun susila di masyarakat, beberapa fakta ditemukan bahwa masturbasi adalah salah satu ekspresi seksual yang masih dikategorikan wajar dan sehat.
Selain itu masturbasi juga dapat menimbulkan beberapa manfaat , antara lain :

Dapat Menambah Pengetahuan
Para pakar seks mengatakan bahwa masturbasi adalah hal mendasar untuk memahami kesehatan seksual. Melakukan masturbasi adalah hal yang paling aman dan cara yang terbaik untuk mengetahui bagaimana cara kerja organ-organ intim seks. Selain itu anda dapat belajar bagaimana anda bisa terangsang ataupun tidak.

Membantu Mengeksplorasi Diri Sendiri
Mungkin anda sudah mengetahui bagaimana cara mengeksplorasi secara teori. Tetapi, sebenarnya kemampuan anda dalam mengeksplorasi kenikmatan seksual tidak terbatas. Dan salah satunya dengan masturbasi. Hal ini adalah cara yang ampuh untuk bisa menemukan hal-hal baru.

Mengatasi Masalah Susah Tidur
Banyak orang yang sudah tahu, jika melakukan masturbasi dapat menyembuhkan susah tidur dan dapat membuat tidur anda lebih nyenyak. Dalam sebuah studi yang dilakukan kepada 2000 orang wanita di AS, sebanyak 32% mengatakan setelah melakukan masturbasi dalam waktu 3 bulan dapat tidur dengan nyenyak.

Mengurangi Rasa Sakit
Jika anda sering merasakan pusing dan nyeri akibat menstruasi, masturbasi dan orgasme juga dapat memberikan penghilang rasa sakit secara alami.

Mengurangi Stress
Dengan melakukan beberapa kegiatan masturbasi, efek yang terjadi akan membuat anda lebih relaksasi. Selain itu, masturbasi juga mempunyai manfaat secara fisik. Karena masturbasi adalah bagaimana cara anda mengatasi sendiri tekanan yang alami ditengah kesibukan anda, apalagi jika dibarengi dengan fantasi seks.

Mencegah Kanker Prostat
Walau memiliki sisi positif, kegiatan masturbasi hanyalah sebuah pilihan yang tidak bisa dipaksakan kebenarannya. Ada beberapa segi sudut pandang yang masih menganggapnya tabu dan terlarang. Tetapi paling tidak dari segi kesehatan dapat mempunyai sisi yang positif. Seperti dapat mencegah timulnya kanker prostat.

MOTIVASI DIRI UNTUK MERAIH SUKSES

2009-09-06T09:55:00.001-07:00
Semua orang ingin SUKSES. Dan untuk itu diperlukan motivasi yang kuat untuk mengatasi tantangan untuk mencapai apa yangKita inginkan. Motivasi ini harus ditumbuhkan dari dalam diri sendiri. Semua orang bisa membaca buku atau menghadiri seminar untuk memperoleh motivasi, namun hal yang sering terjadi adalah kenaikan emosi sesaat untuk berubah. Barangkali ini bertahan satu atau dua minggu dan setelah itukita merasa semuanya kembali menjadi biasa-biasa saja seperti kondisi semula atau bahkan menurun.
Jadi bagaimanakah yang seharusnya kita lakukan?

“Motivasi adalah pohon yang disiram dengan kedisiplinan diri”

Bagaimana caranya supaya tetap termotivasi untuk bekerja mencapai tujuan yang diinginkan? Motivasi adalah seni berkomunikasi dengan diri sendiri. Komunikasi ini melibatkan perasaan yang kita rasakan melalui emosi yang muncul.

Emosi timbul sebagai akibat dari perasaan yang terjadi didalam diri.

Jadi sebetulnya mudah untuk hidup termotivasi. Kuncinya adalah rasakan hal-hal yang membahagiakan dan bayangkan kesuksesan yang akan kita raih. Maka kita akan termotivasi untuk bekerja keras dalam mencapai tujuan kita.

Ada beberapa hal yang harus dilakukan supaya tetap dapat termotivasi dalam hidup, diantaranya yaitu :

1. konsisten

Kemudahan itu muncul dari kebiasaan. Demikian juga halnya dengan motivasi . Ia memerlukan kedisiplinan sehingga kita terbiasa hidup dengan motivasi.
“Sesuatu yang Anda ulangi tiap hari selama 21 hari akan menjadi kebiasaan”.
Ada beberapa cara untuk melatih memotivasi diri, salah satu cara yang cukup efektif adalaha, saat kita terbangun dari tidur dan berdiri di depan cermin, kita katakan kepada diri kita sendiri " ya, saya bisa" , " saya bahagia" atau kata-kata lain yang bersifat sugesti.

2. Bertanggung jawab

Sadar atau tidak sadar, kita butuh orang lain untuk mengingatkan kita untuk tetap berada di tujuan. Seseorang yang selalu bersedia untuk memberikan dukungan dan menjadi mitra bertukar pikiran bagi ide dan gagasan kita. Dari sini kita akan merasa bertanggung jawab untuk memberikan yang terbaik . Proses mencapai tujuan menjadi lebih mudah dengan hadirnya seseorang yang menjadi cermin dirikita.

3. Usahakan kita selalu berada dengan orang-orang yang mempunyai visi yang sama

Saat kita bersama dengan orang-orang yang mempunyai gagasan dan tuhuan hidup yang sama, kita bisa memperoleh energi dan motivasi dari mereka dan kita akan mudah untuk termotivasi dan memperoleh support. Apa yang kita rasakan sebagai rintangan ketika bekerja sendiri bisa teratasi dengan bantuan dan dukungan teman-teman yang bervisi sama.

4. Fokus pada proses, bukan tujuan

Hal ini sangat penting. Kita sering jatuh mental ketika menemui kesulitandalam mencapai tujuan. Tetaplah Fokus pada proses. Cepat atau lambat, setiap proses memerlukan waktu. Tujuan kita sudah jelas, namun perjalanan untuk menuju kesana bisa berliku dan naik turun. Dengan fokus pada proses kita terhindar dari beban mental karena kita memegang kendali atas proses itu sendiri, bukan dikendalikan oleh target untuk mencapai tujuan.

Kita tahu bahwa motivasi merupakan kunci untuk meraih sukses. Yangkita perlukan sekarang adalah kemauan yang kuat untuk menerapkannya dalam kehidupan sehari-hari dan jangan lupa bersyukur dan hargai diri kita disetiap keberhasilan sekecil apapun itu.

PRIA DAN WANITA....

2009-09-01T00:41:00.000-07:00
Pria dari Mars dan Wanita dari Venus

-Adalah suatu kekeliruan dan kesalahan dalam persepsi kalau kita menganggap pasangan kita mencintai kita dan akan bereaksi atau bertingkah laku sama seperti reaksi kita saat mencintai seseorang
. Karena setiap individu mempunyai karakter,watak dan sifat yang berbeda. Apalagi pria dan wanita terlihat jelas perbedaannya dari segi fisik dan pemikiran. Maka Kita harus bisa menerima dan memahami perbedaan ini. Seorang pria ( MARS) akan cenderung untuk menarik diri dan memikirkan persoalan mereka dengan diam, sedangkan kaum wanita ( VENUS ) secara naluriah merasa perlu untuk mengungkapkan dan membahas hal-hal yang merisaukan mereka.

-Apabila pria dan wanita sanggup menghargai dan menerima perbedaan perbedaan mereka,cinta ini berpeluang untuk berkembang.
Melalui pemahaman akan perbedaan” lawan jenis yang tersembunyi, kita dapat lebih berhasil memberi dan menerima cinta yang ada dalam hati kita. Dengan meneguhkan dan menerima perbedaan” kita,pemecahan” kreatif dapat ditemukan,sehingga kita berhasil mendapatkan apa yang kita kehendaki.Dan yang lebih penting,kita dapat mempelajari bagaimana mencintai dan mendukung orang yang kita cintai dengan cara yang lebih baik.Cinta itu ajaib, dan dapat berlangsung lama,kalau kita mengingat perbedaan” kita.

-Arti diri dari seorang pria ditentukan oleh kemampuannya mencapai hasil-hasil sehingga menjadikan pria ini sukses dan berprestasi.
Seorang pria menghargai kekuasaan,ketrampilan,efisiensi dan prestasi. Mereka senantiasa melakukan ini itu untuk membuktikan diri dan mengembangkan kemampuan serta ketrampilan mereka.Harga diri dirumuskan melalui kemampuan mereka untuk mencapai hasil”. Mereka mengalami kepuasan terutama jika mereka sukses dan berprestasi.

-Memberikan nasihat yang tidak diminta kepada pria,berarti menganggap pria tidak tahu apa yang harus dilakukan,atau bahwa pria tidak dapat melakukannya sendiri.
Hal tersebut merupakan cara untuk pembuktiaan kemampuan sehingga bisa merasa puas dengan dirinya sendiri.Supaya merasa puas pria mencapai sasarannya sendirian.Orang lain tidak dapat membantunya mencapai sasaran-sasaran itu,Pria merasa bangga jika melakukan berbagai hal sendirian.Meminta pertolongan pada orang lain padahal dia mampu untuk melakukannya sendiri, dianggap sebagai suatu kelemahan. Otonomi merupakan symbol efisiensi, kekuatan dan keahlian. Pria menyimpan kesulitannya bagi dirinya sendiri,kecuali bila ia membutuhkan pertolongan orang lain untuk mencari penyelesaian.

-Arti diri dari seorang wanita ditentukan melalui perasaan-perasaannya dan mutu hubungan-hubungannya.
Wanita mempunyai nilai” berbeda.Mereka menghargai cinta, komunikasi dan hubungan. Mereka menghabiskan banyak waktu untuk memberi dukungan, menolong dan saling melayani. Makna diri mereka ditentukan melalui perasaan dan mutu hubungan-hubungan mereka. Mereka mengalami kepuasan karena berbagi dan berhubungan.Wanita lebih lebih menaruh perhatian pada hidup bersama secara selaras,bermasyarakat dan bekerja sama penuh cinta.Komunikasi merupakan kebutuhan utama. Berbagi perasaan pribadi jauh lebih penting daripada mencapai sasaran dan keberhasilan. Berbicara dan berhubungan satu dengan yang lain merupakan sumber rasa puas yang luar biasa. Ungkapan-ungkapan pribadi, terutama ungkapan perasaan, sangat penting buat mereka. Kaum wanita lebih berorientasi pada hubungan, bukan sasaran, mereka lebih menaruh perhatian pada pengungkapan kebaikan, cinta dan perhatian.

Pria Berasal dari Mars dan wanita Berasal dari Venus.

Karena berasal dari dua planet yang sangat berjauhan, ternyata dalam membina hubungan, Mars dan Venus punya papan skor yang (jauh) berbeda.

Papan Skor Venus

Pria menganggap setelah bekerja seharian dari jam 9-5 maka dia akan mendapat skor 10.000 dalam hubungan mereka.
Ternyata tidak. Wanita hanya memberi skor 1 pada hal tersebut.
Venus memberi skor 1 untuk semua hal, KECIL maupun BESAR. Wanita butuh banyak ekspresi cinta dalam hubungan untuk merasa dicintai. Satu atau dua ekspresi cinta, betapapun besar dan pentingnya, tidak akan cukup. Melakukan banyak hal kecil (dan mendapat banyak skor) adalah rahasia untuk memenuhi kebutuhan cinta seorang wanita. It's magic when a man does little things for his woman.

Anda bekerja seharian = (cuma) 1 skor, tapi.....
Anda mencari dan menemukan istri Anda ketika pulang ke rumah = 1 skor juga!
Anda memeluknya = tambahan 1 skor lagi!
Anda mencium pipinya = 1 skor
Anda menanyakan "How's your day?" = 1 skor
Anda bilang "I love you" = 1 skor
Anda mengambilkan istri Anda minum = 1 skor
Anda mendengarkan dengan tulus ketika dia bercerita = 1 skor
Tiap kali istri Anda merubah topik dan Anda tetap mendengarkan = 1 skor per topik
Dalam buku tersebut ada lebih dari 100 cara memperoleh nilai di mata istri, di sini ada beberapa hal yang dapat saya catat :
1. Setibanya di rumah, carilah dia terlebih dahulu dan peluklah dia.
2. Ketika ia menceritakan masalah, dengarkan dan berempatilah. JANGAN buru-buru
menawarkan solusi, dia hanya ingin DIDENGARKAN.
3. Bila ia bicara dengan Anda, taruhlah surat kabar atau matikan TV/ Computer
dan berikan perhatian sepenuhnya pada dia.
4. Bersabarlah saat ia berbagi rasa. JANGAN melirik arloji Anda.
5. Peluklah ia empat kali sehari.
6. Jadwalkan tambahan waktu saat berpergian agar ia tidak perlu tergesa-gesa.
7. Sesekali tawarkan untuk membantu mencuci piring.
8. Kalau Anda akan pulang terlambat, teleponlah dia dan beritahu padanya.
9. Pujilah ia atas penampilannya.
10. Saat pergi keluar, tanyakan kalau-kalau ada yang ingin dibelinya.
11. Katakan padanya “I love you” sekurang-kurangnya beberapa kali sehari.
12. Bereskan tempat tidur dan bersihkan kamar tidur.
13. Jika Anda keluar kota, teleponlah untuk memberikan nomor telpon di mana Anda
dapat dihubungi.
14. Tawarkan untuk memijat punggung, leher atau kaki-kakinya (atau semuanya).
15. Pastikan untuk memberikan bisikan mesra sesekali.
16. Jangan menekan remote control ke channel yang berbeda saat ia sedang
menonton TV dengan anda.
17. Ciumlah dia dan ucapkan salam jika Anda ingin pergi.
18. Bersikaplah penuh pengertian jika ia terlambat atau memutuskan untuk
mengganti pakaiannya.
19. Buatlah ia lebih penting daripada anak-anak.
20. Belikanlah ia hadiah-hadiah kecil.
21. Belikanlah ia pakaian.
22. Potretlah ia pada peristiwa-peristiwa istimewa.
23. Lakukanlah jalan-jalan romantis singkat.
24. Buat ia tahu bahwa Anda membawa fotonya di dompet Anda.
25. Kemudikanlah kendaraan dengan berhati-hati.
26. Kejutkanlah ia dengan surat/puisi/sms cinta.
27. Tawarkanlah untuk membawa belanjaannya.
28. Pujilah masakannya.
29. Tataplah matanya sewaktu mendengarkan pembicaraannya.
30. Tertawalah pada lelucon-lelucon dan humornya.
31. Secara verbal ucapkan terima kasih jika ia melakukan sesuatu pada Anda.
32. Ciptakan saat istimewa saat berduaan dengannya.
33. Beritahu dia bahwa Anda rindu padanya saat Anda pergi jauh.
34. Saat bergandengan tangan, jangan membiarkan tangan Anda lemas.
35. Bantulah membuang sampah.
36. Tutup kembali kloset kamar mandi.

Masih banyak hal-hal lain yang dapat diberikan seorang pasangan kepada pasangannya, untuk itu perlu kreatifitas dan pemahaman yang dalam tentang karakter dan kesukaan pasangan masing-masing dan pastikan cintanya hanya akan ditujukan pada anda.
( Sumber : Men are from Mars Women are from Venus. Author : John Gray, ph.d)